ok, so i only wish i'd thought of most of these

and more alcohol must be consumed before i add more of mine... but in the spirit of lightening the tone... i will start.

cut and paste or post .... 5
ironic wintel iron .... 7
switch ads for poets .... 5

--v-- begin paste --v--

Haiku:

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages.

Haiku poetry has strict construction rules - each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, 5 in the third.

They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are some actual error messages from Japan. Aren't these better than "your computer has
performed an illegal operation?"

----

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
--------------
Program aborting
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
--------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
--------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
--------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
--------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------
Three things are certain
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
--------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
--------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
--------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
--------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
--------------

[ 03-07-2003: Message edited by: curiousuburb ]</p>