Hope you enjoy them. I cribbed them from multiple sites. Don't flame, or start arguing about Microsoft.
Feel free to post your own jokes here!

-There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

-One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away.
The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target.
The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off -- whereupon he yelled toward the target area...
"It's leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!"

-For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11pm. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy's products have in common?

1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support.
2. Both barf all over themselves regularly.
3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won't help.
4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceeded them.
5. At first release they're relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year.
6. Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one.
7. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation.
8. No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release.
9. Bill gets all the credit, but someone else did most of the work.
10. For at least the next year, they'll suck.

-Top 10 Things People Think the 95 in Windows 95 Really Stands For:

The year it was DUE to ship
The number of MHz required for the operating system to run
The number of people who will actually PAY for the upgrade
The number of calls to tech support before you can get it to run
The number of minutes to install
The percentage of existing programs that won't run in the new operating system
The number of pages in the "EASY INSTALL" version of the manual
The number of megabytes of hard-disc space required (L33tG4m3r: Well, back then, the average HDD was like 512MB-1024MB)
The percentage of people who will have to upgrade their hardware
The number of floppies it will ship on

-Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner God told them "I need three important figures to send my message out to all people. Tomorrow I will
destroy the earth".

Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them "I have two really bad news items for you:
1.God really exists and
2.Tomorrow God will destroy the earth".

Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them "I have Good news and Bad News:
1. God really does exist;
2. The bad news is tomorrow God's destroying the earth".

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily announced "I have two fantastic announcements:
1. I'm one of the three most important people on earth and
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved".

Click here for a really funny video: http://www.bitstorm.org/gates/