after 8 hours and reading everything i could on these forums... success at last... see below... but first!

i have 30G iPod and a Dell X200 laptop with built in 6pin firewire which caused numerous intermittent connect and recognition errors with all software recommended:

problems included:

iPod not recognized
intermittent crashes on MusicMatch , then MC9 , then Ephpod
Harddisk failures abounded including mysterious removal of iPod_Control files
9 attempts to refresh and restore from factory settings
partial downloads then music not showing up even though using Explorer showed it was there
removed all Apple software except Updater
tried every tip & trick out there
etc etc

BUT success at last after the final set of recommendations that 99% of all issues are firewire related...

1. New Adaptec FireConnect PCMCIA card
2. complete restore that worked flawlessly using Updater
3. Ephpod recognized and downloaded 10GB flawlessy first attempt

very happy now!!!