Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
I have to be a man about this...
I saw the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" tonight. :rolleyes:
She wanted to see it, so I was forced into it, took a hit for the team...saw a chic flick! (of sorts)
That's ok though...I drag her with me to see all the movies I wanted to see...so I guess it's ok if we watch a movie she wants to...just this once! ;)
Back to happier thoughts..
On to the funnies, enjoy!
<sucking up>
P.S. if "you" are reading this, I enjoyed the movie, good choice!
</sucking up>
[576 byte] By [
IronSerif] at [2007-11-9 14:14:24]
# 1 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
So are you a WiFi nut? Need to have a wireless connection at school, McDonalds, the bathroom, the baseball field? Well I suggest you load up on some WiFi Speed Spray!!! (http://j-walk.com/other/wifispray/index.htm)
This stuff works wonders!
"WiFi Speed Spray? can overcome the effects of pollution, increase fidelity, and provide you with the fastest wireless data transfer possible"
Still not convinced? Well scroll down to the bottom and look at the scientific facts and algorithms.
# 2 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
I really can't describe this in my own words...so here is a lil snip:
"Are you a man who enjoys shopping, snappy shoes and a crisply starched buttondown? Have you ever frosted your hair or bought a pair of low rise bootcuts? Do you prefer a good martini over a sudsy draft? Get with it hipsters, you may be a metrosexual."
You know you want to find out more...so click here and take the test (http://sports.espn.go.com/chat/sportsnation/quiz?event_id=418)
Don't worry...Derek Jeter, David Beckham, and Mike Modano are Metrosexual...
Here's a short list of famous guys that are. (http://espn.go.com/page2/s/gallery/metros.html)
# 3 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
This has to be the greatest invention I've seen since the glow in the dark toilet seat.
It's a Toilet Seat that has LED's going all around it. This is so great.
Check it out!! (http://www.kiss-textil.de/galactikaen.htm)
Now you can move the party to the bathroom :)
*cough* Christmas present *cough*
# 4 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
A buddy at work sent me this lil flash animation today. Basically it's about a "Super Pope" who saves people from demons.
This looks like it's the first episode, calledCan't keep a bad demon down (http://www.planetnintendo.com/superpope/spep1.html). Could be a smash hit...I sorta felt like I was watching that Dragon Ball Z cartoon for a min...lol.
Can't wait for Episode 2! Maybe he'll "Power up" or something to that effect.
# 5 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."
"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says "You must be a manager."
"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
# 6 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
Two guys rob a store, they burst out the door running as they hear the sirens of cop cars coming closer. The two dive into two separate bushes hoping they won't get caught. Soon the cop cars stop near the bushes and the two robbers hearing foot steps grow more nervous. A cop then grabs one of the guys out the bush laughing "Busted". As he drags the robber off he looks back shaking his head in shame... "Come on John!!!!!!!!" he screams "They got US!"
# 7 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
Originally posted by IronSerif
I really can't describe this in my own words...so here is a lil snip:
"Are you a man who enjoys shopping, snappy shoes and a crisply starched buttondown? Have you ever frosted your hair or bought a pair of low rise bootcuts? Do you prefer a good martini over a sudsy draft? Get with it hipsters, you may be a metrosexual."
You know you want to find out more...so click here and take the test (http://sports.espn.go.com/chat/sportsnation/quiz?event_id=418)
Don't worry...Derek Jeter, David Beckham, and Mike Modano are Metrosexual...
Here's a short list of famous guys that are. (http://espn.go.com/page2/s/gallery/metros.html)
I got 2 right. I'm a lost cause. :o
# 8 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
We won't even mention how many I got right :P
# 9 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
# 10 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."
# 11 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
I heard this today and I just started rofl
Sister Imaginary
A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."
Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister."
"I do?" questions the confused youngster.
"Sure," responds the dad, "You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."
The little girl gave this a few moments thought and remarked, "You mean like my other Daddy does?"
# 12 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
Take a moment to ponder this...
For a couple of years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep
and too much pressure from my job, but now
I've found out the real reason: I'm tired because
I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million
to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves
48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the
federal government, leaving 19 million to do
the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which
leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who
work for state and city governments and that
leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in
hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
...And you're sitting at your computer reading
jokes.
almond at 2007-11-15 18:19:55 >
# 13 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
lol...wow, that's deep man.
Now I'm ready for happy hour :)
# 14 Re: Funnies: Week of 09-28-03
Just got this in an email:
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire plant behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself so the two men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there, the line is so backed up that there are Elmos all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. The men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face," but I think you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles."
